


heart as loud as lions

by isaacsmccall (orphan_account)



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 00:39:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1962369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/isaacsmccall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey, what’s up you guys – it’s Connor.” He feels calm. He feels ready. “So, a lot of you have been asking for a collab with Troye and here it is, finally.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	heart as loud as lions

**Author's Note:**

> sooooo. i wrote a tronnor fic. obviously.
> 
> this is really bad BUT there needs to be more tronnor fics (on that note: go check out [netta's fics](http://archiveofourown.org/users/peterlovestink/pseuds/peterlovestink) \-- also, thanks to her for finding me a title). and i feel like the only way for that to happen is to start writing them yourself, no matter how shit they are or how short they are.
> 
> disclaimer: i do not know either of the boys. this is a work of fiction. bla bla bla, the usual. don't send this to the boys or anyone associated with them. this fic has only been proof-read by myself, so sorry if there are any mistakes. there probably are.
> 
> my links: [tumblr](http://connorsivans.tumblr.com), [twitter](http://twitter.com/teenclones).

Connor presses record and it’s a struggle; his hand is shaking and he feels dizzy. He feels as though he’s about to throw up and thinks, that would definitely be a good start to the video, wouldn’t it?

He pushes his nerves aside and practically runs back to sit next to Troye, who is leaning against Connor’s couch, his nerves already dissipating as he stares at the younger boy. He smiles at him brightly, his head turned to the side. Troye smiles back, reassuring, comforting; it’s gentle and it’s concerned, and it’s asking ‘are you sure you want to do this?’ And Connor’s nerves come back but he smiles through them – he needs to do this. He wants to do this. It would be weird if he wasn’t nervous, he reminds himself.

He turns to face the camera, making sure not to look at the lights – he’s done that far too many times and it felt like he was going to go blind. He couldn’t see properly for minutes after he did it each time and he had had to wait to film the video. He can’t do that now; he needs to do it and get it over with. Then he’ll be able to relax.

“Heywhat’supyouguysit’sConnor,” he rushes out. Troye puts his hand on his leg to calm him, rubs it gently up and down.

“You don’t have to do this. I understand if you’re not ready. I was in this situation, too, remember? Don’t do it because you feel like you have to.” And he’s staring at him so lovingly and Connor can’t handle it. He can’t handle the love Troye has for him. He can’t handle the love he has for Troye; it feels like it’s about to burst out of him and he knows. He knows he has to do this. For Troye. For _himself_. For _them_.

“I love you and I want everyone to know. I’m ready.”

Troye smiles at him. “I love you, too. Now come on. You can do this – just pretend it’s any other video.” He takes his hand from Connor’s knee and places it on his own lap, intertwining it with his other hand.

“Hey, what’s up you guys – it’s Connor.” He feels calm. He feels ready. “So, a lot of you have been asking for a collab with Troye and here it is, finally.”

Troye smiles at the camera, as though he has no worries in the world. And he won’t, in a couple of hours, Connor supposes. Unless this doesn’t go as they want.

“We felt like we shouldn’t hold out on you any longer,” Troye adds.

“So we did.” He pauses, looking at Troye, and they probably don’t even need words to get the point of this video across. He understands why they’ve never done a collab before when he sees the looks Troye gives him and can only imagine he gives Troye. People would have known on the spot. “This video is going to be a little different. Not only because Troye is here. Well, because of that, actually. There is something I – we – have to tell you.” He’s a mess and he isn’t making sense, but he doesn’t care.

He kisses Troye on the mouth, just a little peck, but enough to give him the courage to say the words. He’ll edit it out later, he thinks. He wants that to be just between them. He may be making this video, but that doesn’t mean he wants his viewers to know everything. He doesn’t want them to know how gentle they are with each other; doesn’t want them to know how vulnerable yet strong they make each other; doesn’t want to them to know that this is the happiest Connor has ever been in his life and this is the most he’s ever loved someone. He just wants some things to be private, between him and Troye.

“I am in love with Troye. I am not gay, and I’m not bi. I’m not straight, either. I don’t like labels, and I want you to respect that. It works for us so it should work for you, too. The only label I like is ‘boyfriend’.” He looks directly into the camera as he says this, right up until he says, “Which Troye is, to me.”

“This isn’t a joke, and I didn’t ‘turn him’; he has always liked guys. I just happened to be one of those guys.” He kisses Connor on the mouth, not for show, but this time Connor won’t edit it out. He feels the reassurance behind it (and he also foresees millions of girls crying over it, whether out of happiness or sadness, but he tries not to think about that – tries thinking only of Troye and him and Troye).

“We’ve been dating for a while now, and I’m ready to tell you guys. Please do not send me hate because of this – I can’t help who I love. And, on that note, please do not send Troye hate. If you send him hate, it will hurt me, too.”

Troye grabs his hand, out of the frame, and circles his thumb on Connor’s hand.

“Now that we’ve got the serious stuff out of the way,” Troye says, “we are going to do the Boyfriend Tag. We didn’t want this video to be all emotional and we wanted to make something fun for you to watch.”

Connor pauses the camera. “I love you so much. So, so much.” He kisses him, every emotion he’s feeling right now going into it. His whole body tingles and he feels Troye smiling and he’s smiling, too, and they start smiling so much that the kiss breaks. And their heads are so close together, Connor can feel Troye’s breath on his face. They don’t move away and Connor keeps his eyes closed, smiling brightly. They probably look like idiots right now, but he doesn’t care. Doesn’t care about anything but Troye. He has his arms wrapped around him tightly and Troye’s whispering, “I love you, too.” He pulls his head away and rests it on Connor’s shoulder, who loosens his grip.

They stay there for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other, and neither of them say anything.

They’re interrupted when one of the lights goes off and Connor has to fix it, and it’s only then that he remembers they have to film more.

Once he’s fixed it, he slides back next to Troye. “Where are the questions?”

Troye points at his phone. “They’re all on here. How are we going to do this?”

“We could do every other?” Connor suggests. Troye nods. “Ready?”

At Troye’s nod, Connor unpauses the camera. He’s glad he got the remote for the camera; it makes filming so much easier.

“Without further ado, here is the Boyfriend Tag.” He smiles at the camera.


End file.
